10 H 34 (Feb. 11, 2003) - 5:29 p.m.

You Know You Read Too Much TLAS When...

...you read, in this post from August J. Pollak vis-a-vis the Dell Dude's arrest, the comment:

It's like AP is holding a stopwatch to see how fast they can destroy this guy's life.

and the first image you get is of a Psycho-Maverick with a stopwatch, maybe obsessively timing everything happening around him a la Miki Kaoru.

So yeah. Happy 26th, sweet bird. I got you the e-card early, I gave you the personal wishes late, and your present is getting to you even later. (Or you're getting to it — for all I know, it's already waiting for you in London.)

And speaking of presents, can I take a moment to convey a personal message to the marketing genius at 20th Century-Fox Home Entertainment behind this little stunt? Dude or dudette as the case may be, kindly suck all my dicks. Especially the three prehensile ones.

Who out there is sick to their back frickin' molars of companies waiting until a bunch've people have bought a no-frills DVD of something before they do a special edition of it? I mean, even before it affected me personally (I got the no-frills disc of Bryan Singer's The Usual Mutants last Christmas, in case you forgot or came in late), I could see why people would be pissed off by it. It's bait-and-switch, is what it is. At least New Line had the decency to let people know there'd be small and large versions of the LOTR DVD. Does this call for a boycott, or what?

Believe it or not, this rant wasn't in the plans. It just became necessary; I'm sure you can see that.

-30-

last time, on The Slack Shack - our next inciting exstallment